Moving!

Hi there. It's been quite a while since I last blogged about anything. I wish I could say that it was because of something cool and interesting, but really I've been completely busy with work. How boring and unoriginal, right? Ha.

Anyway. I have exciting, somewhat sad news. Little Oscar and I are moving in a little less than three weeks! We're still staying in Atlanta, but we're moving to a new apartment. It's smaller (studio vs. my current 1br) and more expensive, but quite a bit nicer than my current place. I'm excited to deal with the challenge of arranging my furniture in a single open space and still feel like I have separate "rooms". I'm intrigued by the possibilities for maximizing storage and style in a small space. I'm starting to narrow down my possessions to ones I truly love and use, so I can start fresh.

I will admit, it's a little sad thinking about leaving my current apartment. While there have been many less-than-happy moments in the past couple months, this little one-bedroom has been my home for the past year. It's the first place I've ever lived that's been truly my own. I'll miss a few things about this home: the crisp morning sun in the living room, the big windows with low sills that are constant Oscar hangouts, the open space, the closet that was Oscar's favorite spot to nap when he was a kitten.

It's very bittersweet right now...I'm beyond excited to leave this apartment itself for many, many reasons, but I'm also sad to leave behind the first stop on my journey in post-college, real world life.

And now back to packing boxes! I pinky swear to do a photo tour of the new place ASAP...it'll be good motivation to get everything done in a timely manner ha.

At Peace

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I realized the other day that I'm so very at peace with my life right now. Compared to the stress and anxiety of the past 6+ months, this is such a completely different, amazing feeling. I'm so thankful for all I have going on...

-I love my new job. While it's not what I want to do forever, it's perfect right now. I'm learning a ton about the wholesale side of the fashion/apparel/accessory industry and getting to experience some pretty cool things (apparel mart this past weekend, the possibility of traveling for work in the future). I'm settling in well and taking on responsibility and impressing my boss with how well I manage tasks, time, and learning new processes. It feels really good to not have to stress out about making a mistake and to leave work at work when I go home for the day.

-I don't really discuss relationships in this space, mostly because of my lack of them, but I've been seeing a great guy for a month-ish now. He's not perfect, which is totally okay because I'm not either, but he is patient and deals with my sometimes-craziness and takes it all in stride. He's so laid-back and easygoing that it's caused me to learn to let up a little bit on my planning and let things happen. I can text him a million different pictures of similar couches and he'll give me an opinion about each, even though he has more important things going on. Most importantly, he loves Oscar. He's escorting me to an event later in the month and possibly a wedding in April so I'll try to get some snaps of us :)

-Oscarcat is still the light of my life. He drives me crazy sometimes, but other times he looks at me with pure love in his eyes and my heart kind of bursts. #cheesybuttrue I've gotten used to him meowing at me to wake up, to his constant interest in what I'm doing, to him snuggling up with me when he's sleepy and ready for bed. I can't even imagine life without this little guy!

-I'm slowly making friends here in Atlanta. I'm also so thankful for my friends I've met through blogging, especially Kelsey because she'll be moving here to Atlanta in a few months and we can be real-life friends too! Wahoo!

-My family has been SO supportive and loving during all of this craziness and I literally could not have gotten through everything without them.

I'm so happy with everything right now, I almost feel guilty. But then I remember that it's wayyyy better to feel happy and at peace than the opposite. I've been living with so much anxiety and stress for so long that it's almost like I've forgotten how to be happy and normal...but I'm getting there.

xo

24.

It feels a little self-congratulatory to say this, but today is my 24th birthday. 24 is a weird age. In my mind, it seems like an age where you should have your shit together (for lack of a better phrase)...and I definitely do not. 23 was an okay year, so I'm hoping 24 is better.

As for celebration plans, I bought myself a mini cake at Publix and plan on eating some after I get home from work. Because that's what you do when you're 24--work on your birthday and do things like laundry and vacuuming. #adulthood

cake picture here

Cat Lady

 

If you follow me on Instagram, then you'll already know this, but I got a kitty! His name is Oscar and he's a tiny 5 month old baby kitten. I'm totally obsessed. I just love cats so much. They have such personality and are all so different. Oscar is very active and likes to run around like a crazy cat as well as climb up to the top of the kitchen cabinets (he nearly gave me a heart attack one morning when I got out of the shower and couldn't find him), but he's also a total snuggler and loves being held by his mama.

He's my Netflix buddy, my cooking buddy, my outfit helper (my closet is an awesome cat playplace apparently), my foot warmer in bed, and my alarm clock every morning.

I may be a little biased, but isn't he the cutest little thing? As much of a handful as he can be, I love this little guy so much already...I'd imagine that this is how new moms feel but only like a billion times more strongly. I definitely feel like I have a toddler sometimes, but I wouldn't give him up for any amount of money.

So.

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I've been really hesitant to post about this, but seeing how I've chronicled basically every up and down of the past almost-year of my life, this is just another part of the story.

Remember that awesome job I moved across the country for and was super stoked about? Well, after 3 weeks of work at the company, they fired me. Flat out fired. No two weeks notice, no warnings or constructive criticism chats pre-firing. One of the owners called me into his office around 10 last Friday morning and by 11 I was home.

Chaos = The New Normal

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Y'all. My life has been completely chaotic since I've been in Atlanta. At this point, I'm so beyond ready to be settled into a normal routine, I can't even express how exciting that sounds. A boring daily routine sounds perfect.

A quick recap of what feels like a month but has really only been about a week...

Last Wednesday, my mom and I left for Atlanta. We ended up driving to Montgomery that day, crashed for the night, and drove the last few hours to Atlanta on Thursday. Once there, we toured a billion apartments (some horrifyingly bad, some overwhelmingly awesome and expensive, and one that was just perfect). The perfect apartment was available right that second, and while I deliberated, someone else snapped it up. So we spent Friday touring more apartments and ended up going back to the perfect complex and seeing what else they had available ASAP. Long story short: I got an apartment there that I'm SO excited to move into and decorate and share!

I started work on Monday and it's been totally chaotic over there as well. The company I'm working for is currently based in Athens, Georgia but they're in the process of relocating to Atlanta while also opening a second branch of the store in Atlanta as well as keeping the Athens store/company open (it's hard to explain). The ATL office/store aren't quite done yet, and the storefront won't be done for quite a while, so a pop-up location is currently being worked on. We've been working out of Starbucks and/or the Athens office for the past few days and communicating with everyone in the different locations by gChat and email. I'm still figuring out my role, they're still figuring out my role, everyone is all over the place...basically it's insanity.

However, as chaotic as all of that sounds (and is), I'm really loving this new chapter. I'm excited to finally move into my apartment and start finding furniture so I don't have to sleep on an air mattress for forever, I'm excited to nail down my responsibilities and get comfortable and situated at work. I'm definitely learning how to be flexible and open to change, since that's not one of my strong suits at all.

What have y'all been up to???

Next Stop: Atlanta!

Hello hello! As you're reading this, my sister and I are in the car, heading from Houston to Atlanta, with an overnight stop in Montgomery.

I'm so very excited to be starting this new chapter in my life, and even more excited that my sissy and I will be having some good bonding time, as well as a girls trip to Hotlanta with our mama. I'm so blessed to have this amazing opportunity, family members who love me enough to take the time to help me apartment-hunt and move in, and all of you for being so supportive and excited for me.

I can't wait to share all the new details about my life in Atlanta, but in the meantime you can see little snippets of our road trip and apartment-search adventures on Instagram!

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Georgia On My Mind

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I am SO happy and excited to announce that I'll be moving back to Atlanta in just a few short weeks!!! I've accepted a position with a company there and I couldn't be happier.

I'm excited about my job, the opportunities, the people I'll be working with, the opportunity to move back to a city I love, the workwear possibilities, furnishing my very own apartment...it'll be a new adventure and one that I'm super excited for and ready to start!

I'm also incredibly overwhelmed with all that I have to do in a small amount of time! If you have any Atlanta suggestions, tips, or anything that could possibly help me, I'm all ears!

Back.

So. I'm back from my little bloggie break. And I'm going to be 100% honest: I took a break because I had a little mental breakdown.

Long story short, I've been struggling with depression and anxiety on and off for the past 2 years. Actually I've been struggling with anxiety pretty much since I started college, but only recently has it gotten bad enough to the point of actually causing depression.

When I'm anxious, I barely sleep, I get extremely worried about the littlest things, I stop eating and end up losing a ton of weight, and am generally just incredibly tense 24/7. I end up overthinking practically everything I do, like even what I eat for breakfast, which sounds dumb but all of that overthinking leads to me telling myself that what I'm doing is definitely the wrong thing to be doing. That leads to more stress and anxiety, which leads to me getting completely down and not even wanting to get out of bed because there's no point.

So, as you can probably imagine, spending 6 months applying for jobs and having nothing to show for it was a little rough. I wasn't meeting any of the somewhat ridiculous expectations that I set for myself, I wasn't achieving anything I had set out to do, and it was hard. I felt like a failure, when really I wasn't failing at all.

Anyway. My doctor put me on some medication, and I've just been taking it a little easier, and I'm feeling a bit more like myself.

I've gotten a pretty amazing amount of support and love from friends and family and readers (who are friends too, duh) and I am so thankful and blessed that I have all of y'all in my life. Words cannot even express my gratitude. I'm happy to be back to posting in this little blog!

XX

Grace Kelly image from here

Limbo

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I think being unemployed and looking for a job is making me kind of insane. I'm absolutely sick of waiting around to hear back from companies, checking my email obsessively to see if I possibly missed an email from one of them, or just waiting by the phone.

I feel like I have all of these plans that can't quite be set into motion yet because I'm waiting until I have a job to do X or visit Y or see Z. Even shopping isn't really fun because I keep finding things that would look so cute in my dream apartment, not to mention the fact that I don't have much money.

I've toyed with the idea of joining a gym or a class or getting a part time job, but what if I get a call tomorrow that I've gotten a job and will be moving away? What if I get a call next week?

Even my parents aren't helping--they keep asking me 'have you heard from X about that job? Have you emailed? Have you called?' yes, yes, and yes and asking me every day is not going to change that. I'm tired of feeling like I'm annoying the heck out of HR departments by keeping weekly contact, since it's out of my hands now and in theirs.

I hate feeling so helpless and out of control and I hate just waiting. I think some people (better people) would see this as an opportunity to learn patience and how to relinquish control and how to relax (none of which are my strong points), but I just can't. I'm stuck in this limbo of not knowing, but already having done everything I could, but it's not enough...it sucks.

I think any optimism or positivity or patience or hope I had at the start of this has already worn out...

Weekend Update

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Hello friends! I'm sorry I've been a bit MIA over the weekend/past few days, my parents and I took a super last-minute trip to San Antonio to watch my cousin and the Air Force Academy baseball team play against UTSA. It was so much fun to hang out with my cousins and laugh and just have a great time, and even better that I got to see one of my BFFs for a bit while I was there too!

As great as the weekend was, it was so much better to be home and in my own bed last night. This week I'm planning on finishing up NYFW and possibly starting London Fashion Week. I also have to catch up on last night's Downton Abbey episode (no spoilers, please!!) and just made a ton of homemade granola to snack on while I watch and blog and live. All of these things make me happy.

What were your weekend plans? What's making your Monday a little bit brighter?

*in case you were wondering, no, I don't read or speak Spanish at all, I found the picture on Pinterest, but that's the original source...

XOXO

 

cute Valentines decor

Remember how awesome Valentine's Day was in elementary school? When you had all of those paper valentines and strategized about who got what and how you had to give the best valentines to the best people, but maybe not the cute boys because you didn't want them to know you liked them? Those were the days.

This Valentine's Day, I have no plans, other than eating my fair share of chocolate candy, but all of you sweet readers are my valentines. Just know that I would give all of you THE BEST paper valentines if I could--the ones with glitter and candy.

How are you celebrating this day of looooove?

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Weekend Whirlwind

Y'all. This weekend was craaaaazzzzyyyyy and completely exhausting. I was house-sitting for both my parents and a family from church, plus watching the three cats and puppy for the other family, so I've basically been running all over NW Houston all weekend and chasing after animals and I. Am. Exhausted.

 
Remember this post about how I wanted a puppy? Well after this weekend, I am officially swearing off puppies until I have someone else to help me take care of them. Boyfriend, husband, roommate, professional dog-walker--it doesn't matter. Little Maddie may look like an angel, but she was actually kind of a nightmare.

In completely non-related news, I have a second interview today(!!) with a company I am verrrrryyyy excited about and would completely die to work with. Any guesses as to who I'll be interviewing with, based on the pictures below? ;)

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I've been thinking about incorporating some more posts about my own real fashion into this bloggie, like maybe a 'what I'm wearing'/'outfit of the day' post every so often (with pictures!!)...what say you? Good idea or no?

I hope you all had lovely weekends and got to relax a bit!

Rocks & Hard Places

 loving this verse and the post it accompanies right now...

 So.

I have a really tough decision to make: take an unpaid internship w/ a company I'm excited about and that would give me TONS and TONS of experience and that would probably let me start ASAP and I would be supporting myself completely with less than $5000 to my name right now...OR...do I keep on searching for a paid, full-time, stable job at a company I'm less excited about and would get work experience in one area, as compared to 5+?

I know the stable, no-risk option is to keep on looking...but a little voice inside me is telling me to take the risk, make the jump and just go. for. it. and the rewards will be infinitely bigger than the risk and everything will be taken care of.

Then on the other hand, another voice is telling me that as great as experience is, it doesn't pay bills and homegirl has to eat...and while everything will work out fine, there is a very real possibility that I'd be sleeping in a box on the side of the road before things work themselves out and I'd reach the level where things would be okay. And that is really really scary.

The verse pictured is what I am clinging to right now...the Lord has something planned for me and it's better than anything I could ever dream. Where does He want me? What does He want me to do? I know He'll provide for me and won't ever desert me, but that involves two things I am not good at: a) giving up control and b) trusting in Him completely.

Since I need a plan to survive (slight exaggeration), here's my plan: spend lots of time in prayer. I don't have the rest of it figured out, but I know prayer is the best place to start.

Ahhhhh....

I'm living the very definition of that old saying 'between a rock and a hard place'. What would you do? Have any tips/advice? Anything?

2013!

Y'all. How weird does 2013 sound?! I keep thinking about what people from the 1900s imagined when they thought about the year 2000, and now we're 13 years beyond that...and still no Jetsons-style flying cars. Maybe 2013 will be that year...

Anyway. How were your NYE celebrations? Mine was suuuuper fun! I went up to San Antonio and hung out with some lovely college friends and had an absolute blast and then spent all of yesterday hungover resting from the festivities and driving home.

ignore our demon eyes...

again, ignore demon eyes...

I am so excited for this coming year. I have a feeling that big (HUGE) things are on the very near horizon, both personally and professionally, and I am ready for whatever challenges or successes that are in store for me. I'm hoping to grow a lot and change and I'm very, very excited for it all. A bit nervous of course, since I am not change's biggest fan, but excitement outweighs nervousness.

I have plans for this little bloggie, but I'm also hoping that great unplanned things will happen with it as well. Yay 2013!!

Resolutions

I don't normally create New Years Resolutions, but this year I am going to try it out. Here are a few things I'm hoping to accomplish in 2013...

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1. Conquer French braiding, curling irons, etc: I'm not the greatest at doing my own hair, so one goal for 2013 is to master whatever's tricky hair-wise. This includes but is not limited to: French braiding, using a curling iron, finding the right hairspray for my hair, eliminating split ends, finding bobby pins that actually stay in my hair...

2. Train for and run a 5K: I run, but not as often as I would like. Nor am I as disciplined about it as I want to be either. I think signing up for a 5K lateish in the year (let's say July) would be the perfect way to kick my rear in gear and start running consistently.

3. Create and stick to a daily routine: I desperately need structure in my life. If I don't have a set schedule for each day, I go a little bit insane. I can be flexible with my structure, but not having a reason to get up in the morning means I won't get out of bed ever...and that's not okay. And since I am currently unemployed and have completely open blocks of time, I need to get the structure of a routine back so I don't lose my mind. This means scheduling time to work out, time to run errands, whatever.

4. Start talking like a real person: I have a horrible habit of saying 'yeah' and other non-professional things all. the. time. and since I'm heading into the real world soon, I should probably start speaking a bit more professionally/intelligently/mannerly on the reg, instead of just when I'm trying to be on my best behavior. (This includes not saying "on the reg"...)

What's on your New Years resolution list?

Merry Christmas!!

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Merry Christmas sweet friends!! Today is such a blessed day and I'm so happy it's finally here! I hope you're all having a great day filled with family, friends, fun, relaxation, and of course a few new presents! I personally can't wait to see what the wrapped presents underneath the tree downstairs hold for me...eeeeep! As excited as I am for presents though, I'm thankful for the real reason for today: the birth of Christ.

If you don't celebrate Christmas, well, I hope you're having a great Tuesday full of all the same things and a little bit of winter cheer!

Ahhhh

Life has literally been crazy for the past week or so...and will continue to be so for the next few days. Since the last time I blogged I've graduated college, packed up all of my stuff in Auburn, interviewed in Atlanta, driven 12 hours back home to Texas, and now I'm currently working on cleaning out what's in my room here so I can move all of my stuff in. Yikes. I'm so ready to be settled and not living out of a suitcase!

I'll try to get back to a regular posting schedule ASAP!

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Planning...and Not.

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You may or may not know that I am an obsessive planner. I am relatively ("somewhat" might be a better word?) easy-going in the majority of the areas of life, but schedules and plans and itineraries and to-do lists are absolutely essential for me. I get stressed out and anxious if something isn't scheduled or if I don't have a set plan of what's going to happen and when it's going to happen. Planning is one area in life where I am uptight and obsessive and can be absurdly rigid and honestly, kind of a bitch. (We all need grace for different aspects of our personalities, obviously this is one where I require a huge amount of grace from everyone in my life.)

Needless to say, graduating and having no clue what I'm doing after has been one of the most stressful experiences of my entire life to date.

Long story short: my original plan for graduation was to find a job pre-graduation, then start job right after...my revised plan was to move home after graduation and then concentrate on finding a job.

Well. Fast forward to today. All of my stuff is packed,we have a truck coming in the morning to take my furniture to Goodwill, and I get a call from a company in Atlanta (my #1 target city for a job! 2 hours away from Aubs!) that they want to interview me.

I'm pretty sure a million thoughts went through my head in about half a second, mostly along the lines of "umm...what? This isn't my plan!!" Well, no, it wasn't my plan, but it was God's. I can just picture Him listening to me making my plans and clinging to them for support, laughing the entire time about what He has in store for me and how it's so much better than anything I could ever dream up.

Coincidentally, the topic of my daily email devotional this week has been God's timing and plan. This is all just a way of the Lord nudging me and saying "Hey--your plan? Nowhere near as good as mine. Follow me, lean on me, cling to me and it'll all be okay. Better than okay, even. I'm always there, I hear you--and I've got it."

Right now, my heart is peaceful and thankful for such a loving God who shows His plan at the most perfect of times. Life is good.

30 Day Spending Challenge--Update!

I first mentioned doing a challenge for myself of 30 days of only spending money on essentials--food, rent, utilities, things I absolutely NEED, etc. in this post about consumption.

I started my challenge on Nov. 1 and wanted to do a little update now that it's been 11 days. I've done relatively well, I think. My only "non-essential" purchases were a few books in the Austin airport and dinner out once last week because I was too exhausted to cook. I also purchased a few tees on StyleMint because they were running a BOGO sale (and that's a good deal)...but technically it "doesn't count" since I ordered them the 31st.

In order to clarify the hazy issue of the word "need", I mean things that are essential. Shampoo because I'm all out? Yes. New lipstick just because it's a limited edition color? Not so much. A warm cardigan because all of my others are worn through with holes? Yes, within reason. Dinner out with friends? This falls into the gray area and I'm going to give it a 'yes' because a) I really don't eat dinner out all that much, and b) if I can eat a meal while socializing with some of my favorite people, I would much rather do that than eat a meal while sitting at home alone.

I'm interested to see how the rest of the month goes...maybe I'll stretch this out for a few months next time!